Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Letting Go

During the last couple of weeks I have been letting go of some things.

First off I had to let my cat Duke go by putting him to sleep. That was such a heartbreaking thing for me to do. I feel empty and so alone now it is very sad and depressing.

About a week or so ago Safe Nest came to my house to pick up clothing donations. My roommate told me to get rid of all of my oversized clothing now that I am much thinner. This was easy and hard at the same time. I have been reduced to a few pairs of pants and a couple of dresses.

I had a talk with my roommate about people who are in my life who I have met when I was in a self destructive phase. They really don't keep in touch with me at all and it is hurtful and frustrating. I told her about one person who has repeatedly pushed my buttons, used and hurt me to their advantage. She asked me why do I want to maintain a friendship with this person after all that this individual has done to cause me pain. I told her that I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and then she called me a masochist. It was then I realized that she was RIGHT!!!

The thoughts turning in my head are these, I let all of this go what do I have left? What do I have to look forward to? What can I do to replace what I have lost?